Hello Good People
Below is something I wrote some months ago, under the heading ‘EPILOGUE’. Well, as this week ends, so has my six years or so of putting my writings of the last 50 or so years to some sort of order, including getting a few published as books. They do say ‘Never say never’, but perhaps, on this occasion, prefaced with a ‘probably’.
I cannot help but feel my pretensions, in the guise of modest ambition, far exceed my abilities. To give fuel and succour to my endeavours, I fell into continual, habitual dreams in the light of day, wherein I stormed the citadels of the sciences, the arts and sport. I was king in all these spheres and more. In this way I gave also, not realised by others, a shield of protection to my perceived inadequate being. I was a closet Walter Mitty.
Still, in this most private, harmless act, I gave nourishment, took a step back from life’s day-to-day realities and sowed the seeds of fantasy, from which grew the stories I reaped down the years.
But, that fertile field from which the fantasies sprung, has fallen barren now, where even the dreams of the days, from an over imaginative mind, fast evaporate. Senior years, deaths, illnesses and life’s jagged edges have given me possession of an adult view, made this man-child become but a man of senior years, bound for the approaching long goodnight.
Now gone are the tales to tell, the fantasies to indulge.
Yet still, the sights and sounds about me fade. I sense I am without body. Only memories remain, and they also fast fade.
It is over. I am but a passing soul, a mere memory to those that knew me.
I am no more. For me, the final act complete: closure.