Sunday, 16 September, 2012
‘The BoCheK Tales’ Series 1
Hello, good people, I told you I’d be back.
The only book I have on Amazon-Kindle at the moment is Series 1 of ‘The BoCheK Tales’. Eight rather weird, tongue-in-cheek, sometimes “naughty” little Tales for your pleasure. Essentially, it’s a fun collection. Series 2 will be of much darker fare.
It has been suggested that I tell you all a little more about each ‘Tale’ in this first Series. I did mention them some months ago, but only a few, and in the most general terms. Here I shall be a little more specific. Here we go:
Tale 1: Blow!
I had this festering in my brain for quite a long time before committing it to paper, some years ago. A fellow had a most unfortunate gift; that of being able to play a post horn, not by way of mouth, but by way of rectum! Also, he could only manage one tune, which was, appropriately, ‘The Post Horn Gallop’!! Alack and Alas, in doing this wondrous thing, much wind and heat was generated, with rather unfortunate results.
Tale 2: Chopsticks.
This sad little ‘Tale’ relates the tragedy that occurred when a would-be-Shirley Temple was given a piano to play with. She only mastered (and that’s an exaggeration) the age-old tune ‘Chop-sticks’. Whilst mother was as pleased as only a mother could be, daddy was not so impressed – after the 100th playing of the said tune. Not to put too fine a point on it, he went quite mad, and the result of that was not exactly nice!
Tale 3: Cowboy.
Father loved cowboys, as did his son. Father loved Gary Cooper, as much as the son hated him. The issue was resolved, after a fashion, in dream. Mother wasn’t best pleased. Mmmmmmmmm!
Tale 4: Stuffed!
This is the ‘Tale’ of a taxidermist who stuffed things ….. anything and everything. He made Norman Bates seem like a Choirboy by comparison.
Tale 5: Van.
I wrote this when an Aussie friend who was working in London told me of a problem she had. She and her friends had bought a second hand “people van”. By the time they’d finished with it, it wasn’t even of value as scrap metal. It had to be all but given away. On hearing this, I came up with a ‘Tale’: Van. Only my little van did not take kindly to someone about to take a hammer and blow torch to it, so sort of, kind of ….. fought back!
Tale 6: Nasty.
Another sad little ‘Tale’ of a father not getting on with his son. The more so as the former was a rough, down-to-earth person, and the latter was into things …… magic. And not just any old magic, but black magic. Into this equation came a sweet little goldfish, whom father christened ‘Nasty’. And that is how the ‘Tale’ itself became …. nasty. Very nasty.
Tale 7: Tube.
Another ‘Tale’ based, in the extreme, on a reality. A friend at work did not like tube trains too much. And the Northern Line, in particular. Such being so, I wrote the ‘Tale’ of a Northern Line tube train that made for a somewhat different, Hellish kind of journey.
Tale 8: ‘Lovebody and Blue’.
The last ‘Tale’ in this first Series is somewhat tongue-in-cheek lewd and blue, if you get my meaning. For some, it will tarnish the reputation of The Cafe le Grande and a world renowned Medical institution. To others, it would elevate them to the Land of Lust for the Gods! More than that I cannot reveal here, as it may give pacemakers pause for thought and truly overload our wonderful and rightly venerated National Health Service. And the Cafe le Grande? It will certainly give one food for thought, and that’s putting it mildly!
Well, I hope that’s titillated your taste buds. Now all you have to do is eat; that’s to say, buy and read, and all for the princely sum of £1.99p.